I Must Be Geeky

From Bilbo
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Occasionally, I have these rather shocking reminders of just how geeky I really am.  :) Last night I had this dream. As you'll see, it gets progressively geekier.

Last night I had this dream. Somehow, this virus ended up on my network. Strangely, it originated on my network, and I was trying to contain it. (I don't know how; the dream just started with that situation.) Before I realized the risk, the virus got out to the internet.

Soon I realized it was an intelligent virus. As in, it was learning from the content available on the internet. This made it extremely dangerous, because it would read source code and find security holes that hadn't been discovered yet.

Global catastrophe was imminent, except that it didn't seem particularly malicious. It seemed to be having fun, in an odd way. It would screw up Windows computers by showing silly things on the screen, for example. Or change orders at fast-food restaurants. Or simply converse with people through computer consoles.

It became more intelligent as it compromised more computers and digested more information. Finally, it became intelligent enough to communicate verbally and pass a Turing test, and actually called me on the phone. It sounded like a regular person, not like a machine or a criminal or a muffled voice or anything. Just some guy, but I knew it was the virus calling (as you often just know things in dreams). It now became smarter than the everyone in the world, as it gained more and more concurrent processing power and indexed everything anyone has ever studied.

As if this wasn't geeky enough, we talked about the things it had learned. Apparently, it had figured out the proof for "P != NP". Unfortunately, it didn't tell me what it is before I woke up.